If you're like me, you have always wanted to be bad enough at social media that nobody expects anything from you anymore and you can just slip away from cyberspace unnoticed.
[bctt tweet="Tweetagramkaterestbook... you don't want to do that crap anymore. Become a #socialmedia catastrophe..."]
[bctt tweet="You want to be the anti-viral of the webs? Here you go. 3 #shortcuts to become a social media catastrophe..."]
Here are 3 Shortcuts to Become a Social Media Catastrophe:
1. Post extremely rarely.
This is even more effective if you make sure your occasional tweet lands between the hours of 1am and 4am. You want to make sure nobody sees your post, or if they do, make sure they don't see your posts enough to make a solid brand impression. To guarantee you never post frequently or at the appropriate time, don't ever use Buffer to schedule your posts in advance.
2. Always pass the buck of creativity.
Keep your own thoughts and ideas to yourself. The best way to do this is to never post something that requires a keyboard. If you can't post it in one click... it's too much creativity. One thing is for sure, nobody will ever mistake you for saying something meaningful if you just blend a bunch of retweets and shares of other people's thoughts into your timeline.
3. Be the Goon Squad of the Comment Section
Aggression and intimidation are the tools of your trade. Learn to police the comment section like those heroic military officers in that quiet suburb of St. Louis. Assert your dominance over everyone with hip checks like "that's a straw man argument, friendo," and "thanks NObama!" The more you do this, the quicker you will become a total catastrophe on all of your social networks. Within weeks, you'll be able to close your account and nobody will even notice!
Let me know if you need help planning your escape from social media by following me at any of the follow buttons below (dude, I'm being ironic, omg lol smh imho)!